Merpirates
by Lauren Wagner
Summary: Based on a few pictures Piratehatter did on her Deviantart account! Ragetti has a dream and tells Pintel about it


"Oy, Pinters?"

"Aye?"

"Ye eva wonder wot would 'ave 'appened if'n ye died an' I were alone?"

Pintel stopped his mopping and stared at Ragetti as if he were insane.

"…"

"Pint?"

"WOT?!"

"Like if'n tha' Beckett bastar' killed yer an' took me fer a slave or somefing."

"Wot the 'ell made ye fink o' tha?!" Pintel demanded and Ragetti shrugged as he looked down at the ground sadly.

"I 'ad a bad dream where tha' 'appened." He mumbled.

"Rags, I don' plan on leavin' yer anytime soon." Pintel assured him. "An' et were only a stoopid dream."

"Et seemed so real."

"Rags…"

"I'm sorry, Pint."

He yelped in surprise as Pintel suddenly pulled him into a tight bear hug but he soon relaxed and smiled as he hugged him back.

"Pint?"

"Aye?"

"'ow would ye feel abou' bein' a merpirate?"

"A feckin' wot?"

"A merpirate!"

"Wot the..?"

"I 'ad a dream abou' us bein' merpirates! Et were a loverly an' funny dream!"

"An' in this dream…we were mermen?"

"Mer_pirates_." Ragetti corrected.

Pintel saw Ragetti's need burning in his one good eye and he sighed as he promptly put his mop down and sat down on a barrel.

"Tell me abou' yer dream." He sighed.

Happily, Ragetti nodded as he set down his own mop.

"Et all starts wi' us arguin'…"

…

Down in the depths of the ocean, too far for a human to go down and live, two mermen were swimming; a quick flick of their tails sending them speeding through the waters.

The merman in front was a fat and squat creature, his pudgy stomach sticking out in front of him. He was also going bald, his remaining gray hair kept long as if to try and change this. Around his neck he had a neckerchief tied there, a piece of cloth that he had once found floating on the surface of the water.

The only thing that other merpeople could say was attractive about him was his tail. It was just as chunky and short as his top half, but at least the color was a beautiful shade of blue, the colors on the scales seeming to almost change in the light from the sun.

This merman's name was Pintel.

His companion the merpeople had decided had no hope whatsoever of ever being attractive. He was thin to the point that his ribs and collarbone were sticking out and the mermaids did not like the fact that his face was so slender with high cheekbones and a narrow nose.

It made them jealous.

His tail was as long and thin as his top half, a nice sharp green color not enough to make him even remotely attractive to the other merpeople.

Of course, it did not help that he was missing his right eye and instead of just wearing a coral eye patch, he had somehow managed to collect some driftwood and fashion a new eye from it.

His name was Ragetti

The two were currently out exploring, looking for anything that the humans up above had perhaps dropped into the sea. Although others would call them thieves, the fat merman named Pintel often said that they were "saving" the objects.

With a growl, Pintel stopped his swimming, placing his hands on his hips as he looked around. Ragetti stopped just behind him and smiled as he looked around before proceeding to suck in his cheeks and placing his hands on either side of his face, making a fish face.

"I can' believe we aint found nuffin' all day!" Pintel growled, narrowing his eyes. "We been swimmin' fer almos' 'alf the bloody mornin'! Why aint these 'umans droppin' nuffin'?!"

When he received no answer, he turned around and frowned when he saw Ragetti smiling at him and continuing with his fish face, making his lips move happily.

"WOULD YE KNOCK THA' OFF?!" Pintel roared.

"Wassa matta, Pinters?" Ragetti asked, putting his arms down at once. "Ye don' like bein' a merpirate?"

"Ye mean mer_man_."

"No, I mean mer_pirate_!" Ragetti said, narrowing his one good eye.

"Merman!"

"Merpirate!"

"Merman!"

The two glared at each other before Ragetti then promptly crossed his arms over his chest and turned slightly away.

"I'm a mythological creature; I kin call meself woteva I wan's!"

Growling, Pintel finally had enough of this, and he proceeded to pounce on him.

"SHU' YER FACE!" he roared, grabbing onto Ragetti's blonde hair tightly.

"OY! Git offa me!" he wailed, struggling to get away.

With a pop, his wooden eye came out.

"Me eye!"

Watching it float to the surface helplessly, Ragetti turned on Pintel and shot him a glare.

Helplessly, Pintel shrugged and with a huff Ragetti sped off after his eye.

While Ragetti was away, Pintel began to feel a bit guilty for making his eye come out. It always took the lanky merpirate a while to get it back and it always upset him when it came out.

"Poor Rags…" he muttered and when he heard Ragetti's soft giggles, he was grateful that he was over his anger.

When he turned to say that he was sorry however, his eyes grew wide in horror.

Ragetti had found something else while getting back his eye.

"Kin I keep 'im, Pint?" Ragetti asked, holding up the baby Kraken proudly.

…

"An' ye said aye an' 'e were our pet!" Ragetti finished proudly.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Pintel shook his head.

"Yer bloody crazy…" he muttered. "Bu' tha's why I likes yer!"


End file.
